The shrine to the football gods paid off for Dan and the Charleston Snobs, but the Claymores lost by 3 measly $^#&$*%&) points thanks to Arizona, who couldn't even get close enough for Neil Rackers to try a 50+ goal. Oh and Reggie Bush, whose commercial face time greatly exceeded his actual yardage. Awesome. I"m 0-1, dashing my hopes of an unprecedented undefeated season. Damn IT...
Well, enough of THAT. Score yourself on our Fantasy Football Owner Quiz ... Are you game?
1. Each week, you set your game lineup:
A) As early as possible to protect against disasters, such as internet disruption, personal injury or an earthquake. There’s no internet access in an ambulance, mister.
B) Whenever you’re confident you understand your best options and with an eye on when it will cause your opponent the most angst.
C) Whenever you get to it. It’s not like you have that many options anyway.
D) Oh, wow. You can do that every week?!
2. When you aren’t hurting at a particular position, you check the waiver wire:
A) Several times a day. Your league is full of sharks waiting for the scent of blood — and you’re one of them.
B) Daily, when possible. You never know when you might get lucky and find that sleeper stud. Plus, you gotta keep an eye on other owners’ transactions.
C) Only if you’re bored at work or you heard a fellow team owner bragging.
D) Are you kidding?! Waiver wire means you have to drop someone. You LOVE your team. They’re like, your favorite players in the whole wide world.
3. When it comes to selecting players for your team, you:
A) Have no scruples. You’ll take an axe murderer as long as he’s still putting up the numbers and not yet suspended.
B) Try to steer clear of players with thug reputations. Head cases don’t usually make for consistently good performances ... particularly when they’re in jail.
C) Give players on your favorite NFL teams top priority. After all, you gotta support the team you love. Go Bears!!!!
D) Just pick players with names you recognize from mass media exposure. If they have a ton of commercials, they must be good, right?
4. When it comes to improving your team:
A) You are always hunting for a way to bolster it. You can’t count on anyone, even LT. A winner is ever-vigilant, processing data constantly from as many sources as possible. If only you could get home phone numbers ...
B) You keep up with new information regularly and you’re always looking to upgrade, but you did the real work at the draft. Now it’s just a matter of tweaking a solid team and playing match-ups.
C) You don’t worry too much. They’ll have good weeks and bad weeks, but your players are your peeps. You just have to be patient and go with the team you love.
D) You can’t really bench guys for having a bad game. They get their feelings hurt. It’s better to just let your players take turns.
5. When it’s looking like you are going to lose, you:
A) Rage against all injustice and unfairness and stupid, overpaid players who don’t deserve to be in the NFL, then allow breaking furniture and shattering glass to speak for you. For days.
B) Rage against all injustice and unfairness and stupid, overpaid players who don’t deserve to be in the NFL then come up with some smart-ass trash talk that disses the owner who beat you.
C) Have another beer and bemoan your fate with copious posts to your league’s site detailing the near-misses and almost-scores.
D) Have a nice glass of raspberry iced tea and finish the paint-by-number pony on black velvet you started last week.
Give yourself 4 points for each "A" answer, 3 points for every "B," 2 for "C" and 1 point for every "D." Take your total and find your match:
17-20 points. Try the decaf. You’re taking this a bit too seriously. If you aren’t making money as a full-time fantasy player, you might want to lighten up a bit. It’s just a game.
12-16 points. You know what time it is. FFB is hugely entertaining and a great excuse for slacking off at work, watching lots of games and talking smack.
8 to 11 points. Work it, baby. With a little more attention to detail, you’d be dishing it out instead of sucking it up. FFB is even more entertaining if you win, or so we’ve been told.
5 to 7 points. Wheee! Life is clearly a lark for you. Too bad they don’t have fantasy leagues with kitties and ponies! Think of the T-shirts!