Duh! Why I misunderstood politics

Sometimes I'm slow on the uptake, but something finally came clear to me just now: The reason so many of us are so constantly befuddled by the behavior of the modern American electorate is that we're simply blinded by the wrong sports analogies.

We think of politics as competition with rules, which is what separates politics from civil war (which, in essence, it replaced). Consequently, we compare it -- consciously or subconsciously -- to sports. Just yesterday I wrote a post in which I compared the Democrats to a baseball team that holds a slight lead in the late innings and hasn't yet gone to its bullpen, while the GOP is swinging for the fences out of desperation. Most elections provoke at least one football analogy from me (typically about "running out the clock" or "throwing a Hail Mary").

You know: Typical American guy horseshit.

Only I just now got it: For a large segment of the American electorate, the correct analogy isn't sports: It's professional wrestling.

There aren't parties and issues. There are "good guys" and "bad guys." They're not competing -- they're trying to kill each other for personal reasons. There's no complexity, no nuance: It's black-and-white entertainment pscyhodrama, with blatant cues telling the audience who is good and who is bad.

For these Americans, politics isn't about democracy in the constructive sense. It's about vengeance and redemption and shallow morality plays. If the bad guys win, it's only to set up a comeback by the good guys. If a good guy suddenly "betrays" his friends, it's not because he's an imperfect person who has made a compromise for better or for worse -- he's "turned" and now works with the bad guys.

Don't give these people issues. Give them archetypes to which they can "connect."

Does any of this make sense? Does it resemble real life? Not at all. But it's by-gawd ENTERTAINING.

My former colleague Schulyer Kropf coined the term "poli-tainment" in the 1990s, and Charleston -- despite its genteel roots -- remains something of a hotbed for poli-tainment political commentary. Frank Wooten of the daily paper and Jack Hunter (a.k.a. "The Southern Avenger") of the local alt-weekly are both longtime wrasslin' fans whose columns blend conservative rhetoric with scripted "stories" that often bear little resemblance to reality.

For many people, the initial response to Sarah Palin's veep ascendancy on Friday was a collective, bewildered, "Huh?" These people think foremost in sports terms.  For us, it was as if Lou Pinella had just pulled starter Rich Harden in the 7th inning of a tie ballgame, ignored his entire bullpen, and inserted backup catcher Henry Blanco as a relief pitcher. "What was McCain thinking?" we wondered. What deeper motivation did his decision communicate?

For others, the Palin announcement sent a surge of raw excitement through their day.  Even if they had cast McCain and the GOP has their "bad guys," they were  giddy because the news was  so fresh, surprising and entertaining. The few conservatives I spoke with and many of those I read were downright celebratory. The scripted storyline: "I think she's a fighter," they said. "I think she's going to kick ass. And she's totally hot."

They weren't cheering the selection of a vice presidential nominee: They were celebrating the introduction of a new GLOW Girl character.

For more than a century, Amercans have believed that baseball and football and basketball informed our national character. Maybe it's time that we understood that there are those among us who long-ago opted out of sports that involve actual wins and losses. Their politics followed.

Comments

[Coturnix]

It is war!

Perhaps it is good that I never cared about sports, do not know rules of baseball and football, and never understood the sporting metaphors in politics (except horse racing metaphors). Thus I saw it from Day One as being an out-and-out war. Pro wrestling may be a good metaphor for it. But war itself is just as good a metaphor as any.

Or is this because my first understanding of electoral politics came under the rule of Milosevic, so I never expected that USA would be any cleaner or better?

[Daniel]

Here's the way I figure it, Bora: If politics was ACTUALLY war, then I'd be dead.

[Coturnix]

Some years, in some places, some people, actually die. At other times, war is ritualized (just arrests and intimidation).