Xark!

Eddie Izzard's Psychological Inner Peace

On Friday night, my Bonnie and I attended Eddie Izzard’s “Stripped” performance at the Ryman Auditorium.  Having been a dedicated fan since actually catching his “Dress to Kill” show on HBO several years back (even given my disappointment with some of the other performances available on DVD), it was with great anticipation that we took our seats. 

Izzard did not disappoint.  Pound for pound, the guy is the funniest man on the planet, and for almost two full hours, my stomach hurt.  When I wasn’t looking at Bonnie to see if she “got the joke,” I was banging my arm on the chair in front of me as a form of physical relief. 

Izzard’s performance worked for any number of reasons.  First, there was something especially delicious and slightly ironic about watching him in this former church and former home of the Grand Ole Opry.  Given his general left of center views, his engaged dismissal of religious based explanations of almost anything, and his occasion forays into transvestism, there is simply something rather non-Rymanesque about Izzard (well, on second glance, the transvestim fits elements of both country music and religion).  I felt it, and the entire audience understood it as well.  This was one of those magical moments when the setting itself made us all feel like we were part of a conspiracy.  With that as a starting point, Izzard had us as soon as the lights went down.  And with his quick pacing, he never let go.

Garfield minus Garfield

What happens when you Photoshop Garfield the Cat out of the daily Garfield comic strip?

You get a much funnier, much more interesting, highly pomo strip.

BRUNCH OF THE LIVING DEAD

BRUNCH OF THE LIVING DEAD from Dan Conover on Vimeo.

I held off on releasing this in hopes of getting the audio sweetened by May 27, which happens to be International Zombie Day. When that didn't happen, I decided it was time to make a few little fixes and put this baby out!

Look for the polished version -- complete with the documentaries "The Making of 'Brunch of the Living Dead,'" and "The Making of 'The Making of Brunch of the Living Dead,'" on the special DVD director's cut, which should be available to anyone who asks me for one later this summer...

David returns to Europe

(from David Quick)...

After a short tour of the United States, Michaelangelo's statue of David has returned to Europe...

(Click through to see...)

If life were like teh Interwebs

The best part? It's when CRACKED gets interrupted and Digg says "Go on."

GOP geography

Another great forward from Sabine...

The Empire Strikes Barack!

Best. Tech. Satire. EVER.

It's BRONZE ORIENTATION DAY!

If I'm ever again in a position where I'm supposed to speak to a bunch of newspaper and newspaper website people about new technology and web culture, I'm going to show this video and move on. And when people say stupid stuff, I'm going to give them stones.

Saw this last night on my new favorite show, That Mitchell and Webb Look.

"... zeitgeisty, and most importantly, slightly shiny!"

More pop-culture zombie evidence

As per my Tweet on Wednesday... zombies are everywhere...

For those of you following the soap opera progress of Brunch of the Living Dead, I've been working out some production schedules and roles and I'm planning to go talk to a restaurant owner on Saturday.

The headlines?

• There will be three subsets of zombies: porch, focus group, and brunch-only.
• I'll need just four zombies for the porch and six for the focus group, but these subsets do not overlap.
• However, both porch and focus-group zombies are welcome to appear in the brunch finale. We'll fill that out with "brunch-only" zombies.

Sorry this takes so long to work out -- but we have to do our creative and collaborative work in the margins of our jobs.

Das is Numberwang!

More That Mitchell and Webb Look videos after the jump...

The Mom song

I thought his was funny, but it gave Janet seizures. So it must be good. Via Sue Polinsky.

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

Over at the cartoon blog, this week's caption contest is up...

While over at the work blog (now largely defunct), I've got an instructional video for people who are just starting out on Twitter...

Twitter get-started tutorial from Dan Conover on Vimeo.

Bullshit: Still America's No. 1 issue

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

I thought these guys were supposed to be a satire site... By the way, here's our Xark "bullshit" button: Feel free to lift this, bloggers, and use it as needed...

Oldie but goodie: Least successful Xmas specials

I'm not sure how I've been able to go through life without noticing this one (John Scalzi's Ten Least Successful Christmas Specials of All Time) before, but it's given me a new reason to live. Thank you, Satire Claus, and God Bless Us, Every One.

Polish the tiara, ladies!

Mark your calendars: The fifth annual International Princess Day will be celebrated on Dec. 14.

The history:

Also known as "Wear Your Tiara to Work Day," International Princess Day is held each year to raise awareness of the thrills of being a girl ...

The idea for IPD originated from the observation that qualities of the feminine were seen as negatives in certain arenas by both sexes. (Plus Princess Carol and I had birthdays within days of each other in December, so it was convenient.)

(There's more on IPD  here. But, uh, yeah, we've capriciously changed some things from last year already so stay tuned to xark!) All princesses are invited to wear a tiara all day: at work, at home, at the mall, anywhere.  Plan to take lots of photos! That can be published!  For those here in the Lowcountry, there will be a celebration after work, I'm thinking  5-8 or  at a place TBA, but most likely a bar downtown, unless other princesses have better ideas. I hope to  have  discounts for  those wearing tiaras, courtesy of Guerrilla Muse, my online store. Yes! There is IPD merchandise available!!!

Full details will go out as soon as possible, but plan to participate and join the fun! Feel free to spread the word to any and all of your royal friends.

Too Easy

Heh.

In other news, Owen Wilson called his recent suicide attempt a "near death experience," and Brittney Spears reportedly called a glass of water she was given during a deposition, "wetty."

Glad to hear everyone's doing okay out there.

Think Warm Thoughts

News outlets are reporting that Hillary Clinton has unveiled her plans for national health care. I don't know many of the details, but if the picture accompanying the story is anything to go by, it looks as though they are planning on keeping costs down by offering low tech colonoscopy exams for everyone!

Think healthy, people.

Smart-ass airline mechanics...

My sister just sent these, and yes, I've seen some of these before, but they're still funny, particularly if you've ever worked in a motor pool of any sort...

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft...sorry about that.

They Walk Among Us

Sent along today by beloved novelist Patricia Anthony:

I was at the checkout of a Kmart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.

I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again... same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

This happened in Austin, Texas, at the Corner of MoPac Blvd and Parmer Lane .

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

===================

I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon For a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little Chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

===================

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one Of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the Sky and said, "Where?"

They Walk Among Us!

MORE SHOCKING EVIDENCE AFTER THE JUMP!!!

Dragnet: Larry Craig

Bill Hicks on advertising and marketing

This was passed on to me by my friend Mitchell.

The First Information Revolution

This was passed along to me by my friend Addison. Classic.

 

Graduation photo

I'm the tall one in the back.

Snitched from these guys.

She's Done It Again!

Forget Michael Jordan.  Muhammad Ali doesn't even come close.  With the June 2007 issue of O magazine, Oprah Winfrey has appeared on the cover a record 102 times!!! That's right, and all 102 have been consecutive appearances.  We at Xark! recognize an accomplishment when we see it and would like to extend our congratulations to Oprah on a job well done.  Congratulations, Oprah. May the streak continue!!

Funniest thing I've read all week

I'm a little behind on my magazine reading, and just yesterday got around to Simon Rich's The Wisdom of Children in the March 26 issue of The New Yorker (Shouts & Murmurs column). Here's Segment No. 1: A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids' Table...

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I'm having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let's talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won't tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing