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Monday, May 21, 2007


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Citing the Tony Snow "cancer" cover story ("Please, God, get me out of this job!") as its official motivation, the Bush Administration appoints Bauer as its new spokesman. Helen Thomas is the first to die (Hour 2).


With new cast-members Antonio Banderas, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz along for the ride as his loveable sidekicks, Bauer tortures cartoon character Dora the Explorer after she's caught "exploring" a little too close to a sensitive government facility (a USGS cartography office).


Jack figures out that he's the biggest, baddest mo-fo in the valley, and finally has an inevitable epiphany: Why is he serving the government instead of running the government? He considers running for the presidency but dumps that idea when his campaign advisers inform him that elections take longer than 24 hours. So instead he just pulls off a coup.

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