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  • Xark began as a group blog in June 2005 but continues today as founder Dan Conover's primary blog-home. Posts by longtime Xark authors Janet Edens and John Sloop may also appear alongside Dan's here from time to time, depending on whatever.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007


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oh. my. god. could our culture really be ready for an honest conversation about love, marriage and family values?


this is a great post. i've heard this stuff before, but it needs to be said over and over. pepper schwartz, a well known pop culture therapist and writer, has said some of it, in relation to studies that show that couples in what most of us would consider non-egalitarian relationships(e.g., breadwinning father and stay at home mother who fulfill traditional roles)often report more marital and sexual satisfaction than those in what we would consider more egalitarian relationships (in which economic power and domestic responsibilities are shared). the reasons why are not simple, but perel gets at some of them, including the idea that difference (in roles, personalities, responsibilties within the relationship) is erotic--which flies in the face of what i call the "love as identification" approach, in which we are attracted to people who echo our tastes and interests, only to find, eventually, that they bore us because we share everything so completely that we simply know them too well--a better recipe for a close friend than a lover. every time my beloved seems insane and inexplicable to me, i try to remind myself that that's what makes him interesting. plus, this perspective continues to give me a reason not to try to understand football.



Yes. I've often found that women consider me less sexy after they've known me for a while. ;-)

Also, your unwillingness to understand football is just plain weird. And it's totally turning me on.

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